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Seppuku A Practical Guide
By: Nick May
Dress and execution.
A loose kimono should be worn. As soon as the sambo tray with the knife is placed before you, allow the kimono to fall open, reach forward, pull the tray toward you, pick up the knife and cut from left to right. The "jumonji", the crosswise cut, may be omitted by colonials but gentlemen will know better. | |
In general your friends will try to create an atmosphere of mourning as though you are already dead. Don't be offended - this consideration is intended to put you at your ease!
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Remove the knife, replace it carefully on the sambo and signal the Kaishakunin to proceed. (You may of course omit all steps following pulling the tray towards you if you have successfully chosen your second.)
The last meal. Anise chopsticks should be used to lend a funereal note to this feast of puns. Three slices of pickle should be served, "mikire" means both "three slices" and "cut flesh".
In general your friends will try to create an atmosphere of mourning as though you are already dead. Don't be offended - this consideration is intended to put you at your ease! Immediately prior to the act you may be offered a last cup of water (if it is sake it will of course be served with the left hand poured to the left - don't try this at a party, it's rude). Your cup will be filled in two pourings, you must drain the contents in two pairs of two sips. "Three" is taken to imply repetition, two indicating definitely-not-repetition-no-way! 2 X 2 is 4, or shi, which can be read as "death". How comforting such intellectual jeux d'esprit at this time!
And that is about it. DON'T engage in any of the degenerate forms of seppuku that involve stabbing yourself with a paper fan: they are vulgar and a paper cut can be quite nasty. DO cover the tatami in your apartment or your guarantors will have to replace it and definitely DON'T chew gum or ask for a last cigarette. Be considerate of others and try not to make a lot of noise.
The rules for seppuku are as complex as for the tea ceremony, and the result roughly the same; if pushed we would have to recommend self-disembowelment over a slow death from lethal boredom, arthritis and bitter tea.
"Live briefly but gloriously, One's evanescent life is but a preparation for death. The fall of the blossom is as moving as its beauty on the limb and the final moment, as ceremonialized in the ritual of seppuku, is indeed the moment of truth" (From Jack Seward's "Hara-Kiri" - TUT 1968 - a good introductory guide.)
To further assist our readers May's Fukuoka City Guide will run a short course, the communal passing-out parade to coincide with the next attempt by the managers at Rainbow Plaza to ban something useful from their noticeboards...
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