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I admire Japanese Women..
by Tim Leuers
I admire Japanese women most of all because
they have a realistic attitude towards gender. A Japanese folk song entitled "The
Black Boat Song", here given in rough translation, says a lot about Japanese
attitudes to gender.
There is a deep, fast river,
That runs between women and men,
Lord! I know I'll never cross it,
But tonight I board my black boat,
And row out across that river again.
Row, Row, Row..
In contrast, many western women seem to think
that they are men. They are not content to be "just as good but different";
too many seem to think that they are psychologically, pretty much the same. This
might be friendly if it were true. It is true that western women drink larger glasses
of beer and will make an attempt to speak on equal terms. But despite the illusion
of equality, the gulf which separates us is still deep and wide. Japanese women,
however, know that they are not
"Japanese women are more
honest"
men, but they appear to be comfortable with it. They try to present
the best and most entertaining aspect of their femininity. And in that way they try
and bridge the gulf which they can see clearly from the other side. Thus the reason
why Japanese women are more popular with Gaijin men, than are gaijin women, is not
simply because Japanese women fawn, it is because Japanese women are more honest
about the gender divide.
There are many expectations placed upon men
in Japanese society and they are probably more severe in terms of hours. A Japanese
man is expected to earn money. But if he manages to earn money then, to a large extent,
he achieves the status of "man". He is not expected to be a home-loving-Father.
He is even less expected to be a father to his wife. He is not expected to be really
tough or independent. He is allowed to cry, to mope, to be a child.
In America and Europe the book "Iron John"
by John Bly (Vintage Books, 1990) which preaches a return to the "natural man",
remains a best seller. Inspired by this book, some western men are going off into
nature to scream and get sweaty together in order to find out "who they really
are". Traditionally, the Japanese man has always been encouraged to do just
this. Hence the "naked festivals" for men, and on occasion, the screaming
men who may be found in front of mountain shrines. But Japanese men have, at the
same time, had less cause to do so. The constraints and expectations placed upon
Japanese men have been physical and not psychological so that even the "Salary-man",
when out of his suit, has never been radically denatured. The western "Gentleman"
in his dealings with western Ladies, on the other hand, must hide the differences,
maintain the illusion, "keep the faith", and wear his suit all the time.
(This article produced a string of letters. Editor)
Issue 46
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