Gluttony - This words means eating a lot, which is what girls do after they marry you. My brother, Buff, saw his wife double in size the first year after their honeymoon. He should have known something was up when she finished his tier of the wedding cake. They can't even have any more kids, because he keeps rolling off of her when she gets excited and starts jiggling. Besides, big girls will drink all the beer.

Greed - Money, money, money. I'm sick of hearing about it. I'll pay them back when I'm good and ready, they were happy enough to loan it to me in the first place. They have no idea how hard it can be to come by money sometimes, with their secure office jobs and all. Some of them even want me to pay for the love motel! How do they expect me to save any money that way?

Sloth - They don't even wash the dishes after cooking dinner, and they fill my house with little things to leave their mark. If she can't even vacuum a little on the way out, then why should I bother entertaining her again?

Lust - ...Uh, this is a good thing..I think. Lemme see..Fersure, it's good. Has to be, unless they have some kind of trick in mind. Maybe we can just replace this one with nagging. Lust is good, I'm pretty sure of that point..

Pride - Maybe I'm old fashioned, but women should not have too much of this. It's the first step to feminism, hairy legs, and some guy with a tube of vaseline joining the two of you in bed. Certainly a dangerous sin. In fact, I took a real liking to a girl last week when I asked her to give me one good reason why we should leave the bar together. She answered "Because I have no pride." She was a good one.

Envy - I studied psychology at college, I thought it might help me get laid. I won't ever forget when I learned what women are really envious of. They must be doubly envious in my case. I don't blame them, but hey, I'm always willing to share.

Wrath - This is a bad one, I've seen it up close. I don't want to talk about this one anymore.

Bucky